You either grow up or fall down.

Just as I’ve barely dipped my toe into adulthood, encountering the previously mentioned financial problems, God has pushed me into the deep end and I’ve been forced to tread through waves of responsibility after another.

 

Almost 3 months ago, Alvin ruptured his Achilles tendon during taekwondo practice and has been severely disabled since. He can barely move around and is forced to stay in bed, while I, at only 21 years old, 

1. must take care of him,

2. take care of the apartment, 

3.cook

4. clean

5. be a fulltime student while trying to graduate

6. work 6 days a week

7.  participate in chi delt events almost every other day.

 8. maintain my own sanity

It gets rough. I get resentful, I get tired. I get mad. I get sad. I get mentally and physically exhausted

But there are days and moments like these when I can pause, and reflect on my growth and be proud of my progression as a woman. I can look back and see that it’s a “beautiful struggle” because it’s worth it. As I’m writing this I can’t help but tear up and be thankful to God for giving me the strength to push though.  I am thankful to God for giving me a man who I WANT to work hard for and blessed life to live for. With any aversive experience I always try to ask myself if I’ve gained anything from it  and I see so much growth from this. I have been able to juggle all of my new acquired responsibilities without dropping any ball. I’ve learned how to love and take care of another person without having to sacrifice my own priorities and duties. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” and this hardship is making ME stronger as well as my relationship.

As I’m quickly approaching graduation, I feel ready and better prepared for the struggles that the Real World brings. The end of college means the end of my youth and the beginning of real independence. I’m scared in a sense that life wont be as structured and predictive as college is, but I’m excited knowing that the real world means that anything is possible and confident in knowing that I am better equipped to handle it.  Life is only gonna get harder but I'm only going to get stronger.

Bring it on, Future. I gotchu.