I'm having a feeling that I haven't felt in a long time and its called lack of self-satisfaction.

I'm not really liking the person that I am right now. Nahh. This aint no emo shit. Im not referring to my physical assets or personality traits. I'm talking about my behavior, attitude and reactions. I know I've got business to handle and I'm not using my time wisely. I'm feeling lazy and sluggish and my mind is not focused. I kinda feel like I'm settling for mediocrity--- Mediocre performance and mediocre expectations. And that's SO NOT ME! I enjoy knowing I'm going above and beyond and I never stop going for more if thats what I want.

But I feel like ___ is an anchor. My mind is completely consumed by _____!  As I'm tryna sail away to this place and that place with ____, ____ got me just chillin', stuck in this same familiar rut of complacency. I feel like I'm tryna pull that anchor up so we can sail together, but that anchor is koo right where we are. So instead, we're still, treading water.

 I stay searching for the good in every conversation and then left feeling unfulfilled. I feel like a fool making so many excuses to myself to keep giving it another shot. Damn. I want it soo bad. But theres only so much I could do.


"Fantasy is what we want but reality is what we need." - Lauryn Hill

i knew i shouldn't have drank that cup of coffee.

its 5am and i can neither focus or sleep. Greeaaaat. What a wonderful waste of time--something I have a limited amount of! 

-My mom said to love light-heartedly-- something I don't think I've ever done in my life. 

-I've got a crucial weekend ahead of me. Sweat, tears, and no sleep here we come!

It's alright. You know why? Cuz everything is alwaays alright. Tomorrow is a new day. I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna live it better, smarter and happier. 

Gah. Life, you're so crazy. But how I love you so.